Why I am not enough

As a mother, I struggle with  my mistakes.  I long to love my children whole-ly, well.  I do, sometimes.  But I hurt them too.  My nurturer’s heart  also aches over the bigger problems;  sexual predation in Africa, religious abuse in America, and so many other hurting children worldover.  I bring these longings, aches, fears to God and it is here that I learn, again, that . . . . .

I am not enough

My arms will never be long enough

My heart not pure enough

I am not safe enough

not kind enough

I do not know enough

I can not be enough

I love

I hurt

I watch

I pray

I am warrior

I am guardian

But You, You only, are Enough

No human intentions

even my own large-hearted love

can solve the hurts of this world

or even of my own family

or ministry

I repent God

I turn away

From seeking to be

Enough

or even enough

Jesus suffered

and died

so that I would not have to be

Because He is

And that Enough-ness

Is His free gift

If I reach out my hand

and take it

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