First day at home

I am tired, so tired, that I wake up twice during the night and stumble to the bathroom and think “I WISH I were HOME”  only to realize moments later that I AM home.  I am that kind of tired but parenting never stops, does it?  And so we move forward and into your first full day in your new home, your new life.

You wake up late and come running into my room all fresh-eyed and sunny, never mind the closed door, you just barge right in.   You jump right into my bed and you cuddle me and I drink in every moment.  This is what it feels like to be your mom, and it feels so good.

Today is an ordinary day just like so many ordinary days to come.  And soon this will become your new normal and you will forget that there was ever anything but these ordinary moments and I’m so glad.  So glad to give you this ordinary wonderful.

Today is jumping on the trampoline and playing ‘the force” with Dad and laughing till your stomach hurts.  Today is swimming for too long in the “very cold” pool and paddling all over it in the swan raft with your sister-twin.  Today is playing legos on a quilt in the patch of warm sunlight just beneath the window with two cats joining in.

Today is laughter and fun and a little bored too.  Today is no-tech day and you don’t seem to miss it.

I grieve now because language frustrates us both.  You have so much to say and you try so hard and I feel so stupid. Isn’t this the simplest thing a mother can do? To understand the words your child speaks?

And so we move forward the best we can.   With glances and touches and a whole-hearted love that surpasses words.  And grace is enough, grace is always enough.

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